Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I'm an Idiot

Okay, so I'm an idiot, but I'm claiming travel stress for my lapse in reading skills. I forgot two requirements for the Madlibs, so I need everyone who played yesterday to give me another noun and an adjective. Colleen, you missed an adjective (I think) somewhere, so I need two adjectives and a noun from you. You'd think this wouldn't be so hard for a writer, but there you go. :)

So yesterday class went well but at New Horizons (where we're doing the training), they have a great podium and projector for the trainer, but no stool. Huh? So my big butt had to stand all day - in dress shoes. Thank God I lost that four pounds.

Of course, my left foot, which is the one I damaged in a motorcycle wreck a couple of years ago is angry, angry, angry. In fact, my first three toes are literally still asleep. They had nerve damage from the wreck and I guess standing all day in high heeled boots set it off again. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to have your toes asleep all the time? I think today I'm wearing dress clothes and tennis shoes. Everyone will have to live with my disasterous wardrobe because my toes are not going to take another day of high heels supporting big booty.

I'm working on my next book and was just thinking how much I'd love to not have a day job as it interferred with my writing (but kinda provides me with food and rent money) and low and behold, I received an email that will change everything. Here's what it had to say:

DEAR
WINNER,

YOU WERE SELECTED AS THE PRIZE WINNER OF THE SUM OF EUR.
250,000 (TWO HUNDRED AND FIFITY THOUSAND EURO) BY THE NL LOTTERY AND
GAMING CORPORATION. THE WINNING EMAIL ADDRESS WAS SELECTED FROM A DATA
BASE OF INTERNET E-MAIL USERS AND ADDRESSES, FROM WHICH YOUR E-MAIL
ADDRESS CAME OUT AS THE WINNING COUPON.

WE THEREBY CONTACT YOU TO
CLAIM YOUR WINNING AMOUNT QUICKLY AS FAILURE TO CLAIM YOUR WINNING WILL
RESULT INTO THE REVERSION OF THE WINNING SUM TO OUR FOLLOWING QUARTER.
PLEASE CONTACT YOUR APPROVED AGENT FOR YOUR REGION WITH YOUR WINNING
NUMBER AND TELEPHONE CONTACT NOW (EXPIRING DATE, 25TH OF NOVEMBER,
2006). BELOW IS YOUR CLAIM AGENT:

RITA JENSEN(DIRECTOR OF CLAIM)
DIRK
CONSULTS
SCHIPOL RAI 6, AMSTERDAM
E-MAIL: trustbondbv@aim.com
TEL: +31 62 252 5068
FAX: +31 84 723 1270

So you see, apparently my money problems are solved. I mean, after all, this has to be legit, right? They drew my name from five hundred billion email addresses on the web and sent me an email in ALL CAPS. That's certainly professional.

I'll check back in after I've claimed my prize. Or maybe not. Maybe then I'll be too rich to want to blog.

Of course, if this doesn't work out, there's always those stock tips that I get every day - all day.

5 comments:

lainey bancroft said...

Wow! What a coincidence. I won 5 mil in a Brazilian lottery I don't even remember buying a ticket for. I'd no sooner claimed that when my telephone rang and a lovely--if automated-- young lady told me I'd won an all expense paid Caribbean cruise.

It sure is our lucky week, Jana! And you're right, I'll definitely invest some of my mils with all those invaluable stock tips I get--after I've bought a good supply of penile enhancements and herbal Viagara for my boy-toys of course!

Gotta love the Internet spam! NOT

Anonymous said...

Wait a second, you and Lainey can't be winners because I'M the winner! *snort*

Tori Lennox said...

First, my MadLib words: smoke, sexy

*hugs* on having to stand all day. Numb body parts are awful. I know because I have some myself. Horrid feeling (or lack of feeling, as the case may be....).

If the lottery thing or the stock tips don't work out, maybe you can refinance your house and get a bundle of money that way. I get those offers all the time and I don't even own a house! *g*

Jana DeLeon said...

lol lainey - but what exactly are YOU going to do with that penile implant?????

wendy - you can't be the winner. I'm supposed to be the only one. And I'm sure if I just give them my social security number and my bank account information, they'll be happy to forward my money.

Hi Tori - yes, numb body parts are so not cool. It feels entirely strange, especially if you have an itch. And the refinancing option is always a good one - I'll keep it in mind.

Colleen Gleason said...

Okay, coming in late here...two adjectives and a noun.

skyscraper
miniscule
bloody


How's that????

 
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