MadLibs - Round 2

I'm here in humid Boca Raton. How come no one has figured out that AIR CONDITIONING fixes the humidity problem inside????? I just had breakfast downstairs at the hotel and feel like I've been in a sauna. The client's office will probably be just as bad (sigh). I'm going to start showing up for training wearing a t-back and gauze, I swear!

Ah well, enough complaining for the morning - here are round two of the MadLibs"

Tammy

Mrs. Fifi Vanderbold, the freaky and whiney heiress, has filed for divorce from her husband, Percy Vanderbold, the former cold chair of Harvard, class of '38, now in the swimming pool. Mrs. Vanderbold claimed that her husband had drank her bed of pink flowers and tracked stupid mud into the house. He also criticized her cooking. Mr. Vanderbold, when asked to comment, said, "Oh No! I didn't do it. The pet Gator ruined the flowers. And I offered to take her out to restaurants more often!"

(fyi - Tammy gets extra points for the Gator reference) :)

Holli

Mrs. Fifi Vanderbold, the shriveled and damp heiress, has filed for divorce from her husband, Percy Vanderbold, the former succulent toe nail of Harvard, class of '38, now in the motorcycle business. Mrs. Vanderbold claimed that her husband had sneezed her bed of gold flowers and tracked hairy mud into the house. He also criticized her cooking. Mr. Vanderbold, when asked to comment, said, "Yikes! I didn't do it. The pet gorilla ruined the flowers. And I offered to take her out to restaurants more often!"

Kelly

Mrs. Fifi Vanderbold, the creepy and ignorant heiress, has filed for divorce from her husband, Percy Vanderbold, the former filthy skateboard of Harvard, class of '38, now in the necklace business. Mrs. Vanderbold claimed that her husband had danced her bed of purple flowers and tracked monsterous mud into the house. He also criticized her cooking. Mr. Vanderbold, when asked to comment, said, "Holy crap! I didn't do it. The pet tiger ruined the flowers. And I offered to take her out to restaurants more often!"

So let the voting begin - who was funniest??????