Friday, August 04, 2006

Writer's Butt

I got this joke from a co-worker and felt it relevant to my topic today, so I wanted to share:

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really MAD!!! She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.

Now, while I'll admit, this is funny, it hits a sore spot with me and that's "writer's butt." I already have the day job working against me (sitting at a desk all day) and I went and picked a second career where I could spend more time sitting at a desk all day. My fingers could probably go to the sign language Olympics, but the rest of me - not so good.

And this is the dilema - I could change my diet, but would that be enough to stop the spread or even reduce it? I know I should be exercising and it holds all those wonderful added benefits for health and weight loss, but what if you really don't have the time to fit it in often enough for it to matter. And before you fanatics out there get started on me, I REALLY don't have the time. I spend approximately 19 hours a day taking care of the "have-to's." By the time I fall into bed at night, the measly five hours I get is never enough and one day I will crash and burn.

The day job time spent goes without saying - must pay bills and we all know that's not going to happen from writing - probably not in this century anyway. My next book must be written or I can't sell it and my career will end before it begins. My debut release (out in October) must be marketed or it won't sell well and (see above) my career will end before it begins. Paying bills are a have to - and even though my husband definitely pulls his weight around the house, it still takes both of us to take care of things that come up - car repairs, furniture delivery, broken air conditioners, etc.

I farm out everything I can - I don't clean the house. I don't mow the lawn. We pay people to take care of those things so we don't have to spend the time doing them. I dry-clean almost all of my clothes, so I'm not spending time ironing. I watch exactly two shows on television (and let's face it, everyone has to have SOME down time or they will explode), and I record them so I can skip commercials and save time spent actually watching.

Is my life always this hectic - well, lately, yes. And it's been that way since December of last year. Just when I think things are going to slow down enough for me to pee with the door closed, something else needs my time and attention - ALL have to's.

Does anyone else have this problem? And if you do, I'd love to know how you handle it. Is dieting enough for the times you're literally too busy to exercise? And if you don't have time to exercise, you don't have time to cook either - so what are you eating that's quick and easy and doesn't take hardly any time to prepare.

There has to be a solution - before writer's butt takes over the world.


Jaye Wells said...

Weight Watcher's online. No meetings. You can keep track off everything on their web site. I think it's like $15 a month. They have menus and recipes and all sorts of stuff.
Two years ago I lost thiry pounds without one lick of exercise with this method. Of course you have to have the motivation. And, yes, now that I'm writing more my rear is expanding again.

Colleen Gleason said...

LOL! Jana, I hear you, big time.

I like WW too, Jaye. I've used it before and use it again.

Also, just adding a little bit of exercise will help--you've heard the drill: take the stairs instead of the elevator, park out in the parking lot as far as you can, speedwalk through the grocery store.

And I venture to say that with your schlepping of luggage through the airports and also your computer, etc., to your training meetings, you'll be burning some calories.

But I like WW to supplement it. You can eat anything, and it's easy.

Jana DeLeon said...

Hi Jaye & Colleen - Ugh, another thing to do online? I did Fitday for a while and found it very useful to gauge my intake and expense of calories, but it took forever to type all that stuff in everyday. I think I'll just try changing my diet and see how that works. If only I could stick to it for a full week, I might have a better idea. :)

And you're right, Colleen, hopefully all the airport walking and dragging around baggage will help some. I'm also hoping that being out of town without my normal responsibilities might cough up at least twenty minutes I can hop on a treadmill somewhere.

Hopefully when you see me next year in Dallas, you won't recognize me. (now THAT'S fiction)

Tristi Pinkston said...

But if you think of it this way -- you can only have writer's butt if you're a writer. Wear it with pride! I do mine!

Jana DeLeon said...

LOL Trista! I hadn't thought of it that way, but I guess it's all about perspective.

So I guess in the words of Sir-Mix-A-Lot, I should "turn around, stick it out?"

Holli Bertram said...

Man, do I hear you on this one, Jana! Add me to the list of Weight Watcher fans (though that might be too strong a word.) Works best for me when I buy the pre-packaged stuff and don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about food and points. I haven't squeezed exercising into my current schedule, either, but when I did manage it, I used to mult-task - usually I watched my favorite tv show while treadmilling.

Jana DeLeon said...

Hi Holli - you did so good watching what you ate at National. I just simply don't have that kind of restraint - especially when faced with great food and a group of friends to eat it with.

I think I'm going to start simple by changing some of the things I eat to low-fat, try to get my water consumption up where it needs to be, then see if I can fit a little exercise in there. Even if I only manage a couple of twenty minute sessions per week, it's got to help. And I think I'll start doing the other things people mentioned - taking stairs when I can, parking further away from the door, etc.

Cari Manderscheid said...

All of my friends have heard me say countless times that you can always tell when my writing is going well because my butt grows!

I rely heavily on my crockpot for cooking quick & easy meals (plus I don't have to turn on the oven during the summer). When I get home from work, the "meat" of my meal is done and all I have to do is throw together some quick sides, which are usually veggies, and don't take much time to prepare.

Plus, I always keep a salad mix in the fridge so I can fix a salad at anytime of the day or night.

As for exercising, I'm a firm believer that even if you can only do 20 minutes a day, it DOES help you lose inches and will help keep you motivated for those times when it doesn't look like the scale is budging very much.

Dieting is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Hmm...kind of up there with writing, now that I think about it!

Cindy T said...

Do you remember that fat shaker Boss Hogg used to use on The Dukes of Hazzard? I wonder how that would work? ;)

Since the spring, I've lost thirty-five pounds, but I really think the biggest factor in my losing it was the exercise, at least 30 mintues a day. I like to eat too much to cut my calories back too far.

Jana DeLeon said...

Cari - I need to get some crockpot recipes from you. That sounds like my kind of cooking.

Cindy - LOL on the Boss Hog fat shaker. It didn't look like it was working though. :)

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