Second Book Syndrome

Okay, so a writer friend, Kelly Parra, suggested that the problem I'm having with my proposal is "second book syndrome." I'm not sure how exactly she defines it, but I think she's on to something. Don't get me wrong, my first book was hard. I cried, ranted, gnashed teeth and ate so much chocolate I'm surprised there wasn't a world shortage - but still some of the basics were there in the beginning.

Not so with this one. I am now on my third attempt. #1 was shot down by my agent (with darn good reason). #2 was shot down by me (see #1) Finally, I moved on to #3 with a different approach to things - basically, the same approach I used for the first book, and this one is the first I am truly happy with (although I've only got one chapter written)

For me, the solution was simple although it took agonizing for weeks to arrive at it. Basically, I tried to write big city and I hate big cities. I tried to write a heroine who I had nothing in common with and I didn't like her much either. Although it suited the story fine and probably someone else (who liked big cities and somewhat wimpy heroines) could have written a great story with the premise alone.

Not me. So for #3, I returned to my redneck roots - after all, that's what got me my first sale. I moved the story to a small bayou town and recreated my heroine - kick-ass and all.

Seems to me that in trying so hard for my proposal, I forgot the first rule of writing - Write what you know. So it's back to the bayou - and would someone please pass me a beer?

Winter Heat Wave

Well, it's winter in Texas (finally) and I can't help posting another round in the "pet peeve" catagory. I'll call this one - Can You Count to 100?

Here's the problem. Texas is hot. This summer was miserably hot - hotter than it's been in forever, at least for that many days straight. So everywhere you went people had air conditioners whining in protest 24/7 just to keep the space they were cooling somewhere in the mid to low 70's. Still everyone complained about the heat. "I just can't get cool" "I can't wait for winter." blah blah blah

So we finally get a decent cold front and for the first since March, the temperature in Texas drops below frying an egg on the sidewalk range. You'd think people would be happy. You'd think they'd be dancing in the streets. But nooooooooooo, here in Texas everyone has cranked up their HEAT!

Now, I ask you, does it make any sense whatsoever that the same people who were burning up when their houses were 73 degrees are now freezing unless they have the heat up to 80????? The temperature is the temperature, people (with allowances for humidity, of course) but essentially, your thermostat doesn't know whether it's winter or summer - it's merely reporting the degree at which your house is resting.

At a writer's workshop on Saturday I was about to waste away from the heat in the hotel conference room. I told my cp (and the coordinator for the event) that I was burning up and if she didn't get it cooler in the room, I was getting naked. She looked at me and said, "Are you sure, because I've seen you sort of naked...." To which I replied "Then why are you still standing here?"

So pack away your muscle shirts and shorts. Pull out a sweatshirt and some fuzzy socks.

AND TURN DOWN THE HEAT!

IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!

Throw away the scales - Weight has returned!!!!!

It disguised itself very cleverly as Thanksgiving dinner. I know what you're thinking, and you're partially right - I ate the fried turkey, chicken dressing, sweet potatoes, baked beans, lima beans, rolls, fruit salad and cajun rice - that's all accurate.

BUT - we went to exercise after lunch. ME - exercising! My parents have a lovely park near their house with a trail around a pond and through the woods. And that's where Weight got sneaky. Here I was thinking I'd worked off part of lunch on lap one and was gearing up for lap two when Weight caused me to step halfway on-halfway off the path and my ankle snapped. Oh what a glorious sprain. Easily the size of a tennis ball sticking about an inch off of my ankle. So I soothed my wounded spirit (an ankle) with four layer pie.

See how sneaky????? Not only did Weight prevent me from working off lunch - it enticed me to four layer pie knowing good and well it will be weeks before I'll be able to exercise again.

Obviously, declaring Weight legally dead did not work. Evil has a way of returning.

Next tactic - exorcism - anyone know a good priest?

Dieting Round 2

Okay, so this has been one of those strange weeks. Got a lot accomplished on the writing front and attempted dieting round 2.

Started Atkins on Monday morning - quit Thursday night. Unfortunately, the Atkins and the tummy do NOT get along and the Jana doesn't have that much time to spend looking for restrooms in public places. The upside is I lost 6 pounds by Thursday morning so I guess it wasn't a total waste of time.

So I guess it's back to the low fat and smaller portions and less carbs. God, it hurts even saying "less carbs." Kind of takes the meaning out of life. So then I started thinking of all kinds of ways that people lose weight, then I thought about the term "lose weight" and I decided it really doesn't fit at all.

I mean, "losing" is usually something that's unintended or an accident at best. I mean, you lose car keys, you lose your cell phone - why exactly do we refer to taking the scales down a bit as "losing weight?" The word "losing" to me usually implies that I want the item found. Well, I can promise you, I don't want my weight found once it is lost. It's found me too many times before - and I think a couple of other people's has too.

Plus, it never seemed to me, even in the good times of a great diet plan, that weight was ever really lost. It more seemed to be lurking like a serial rapist outside an open window, peering in the mini blinds and waiting to assault my body all over again. Or perhaps it takes the form of the seductress - creamy chocolate or prime rib. Or even worse, what if weight is disguised as your buddy - you know, beer, wings and a Cowboys game on Monday night football? Gasp!

So I decided "losing" weight just wasn't permanent enough. So I needed something more definite. Then I thought of divorce. Well, it's sort of permanent, unless you have kids - then you're stuck with the a-hole forever. So divorce was out. It still allowed for reconciliation. And I actually know some weirdos that have divorced only to remarry. (huh?)

In the end, I decided the most permanent was to deal with weight was to have it declared legally dead. So that's it!

ATTENTION EVERYONE - I HEARBY DECLARE WEIGHT LEGALLY DEAD!

There will be no service and no tombstone will be erected. I thought about cremation, but then I'd just want to roast marshmellows over it..................